Holiday Aftermath

 It has been noted that I have neglected my blog since my escape from the Hotel Salobrena. This is due entirely to the problems of returning home after two weeks away but don’t misconstrue that into thinking I am not happy to be home, it’s what needs to be done to get things back to normal that’s the problem.

Over the years, and many holidays, Pat and I have evolved  a ‘return home’ system that works so well that if it were an Olympic event we would be in with a good chance of taking the gold medal. 

First thing is the unpacking. For me that is the easy part. I am emphatic that I wasn’t the last one to have the key to the lock on the suitcase(s) although it usually turns out I was. I unlock the case(s), open the lid, then turn to Pat and say “there you go” before I sit down and have a cup of tea and leave her to it. Slowly, washing machine size piles of dirty washing start to appear in a variety of washing categories. This is where I come into my own.

It’s my job to feed a pile into the washing machine and extricate it when it’s finished and then transport it to the dryer which is housed in our shed situated at the bottom of the garden and when it’s finished extricate it and bring it back to the conservatory (now the laundry room) to be aired. This cycle is repeated until all the piles have been dealt with. Logistically this is a demanding task involving much walking and perfect timing of which I am a master.

Whilst I am doing the above Pat will have started the ironing. Are you ladies questioning why it’s not me doing the ironing? If you are, the answer is that during my complicated executing of the washing and drying I am also fitting in getting the garden back into the pristine condition that it was before I went away. Two weeks away means lots of dead-heading, trimming and weeding so I am fully occupied. The completed ironing has also to be taken to its respective resting place until needed again.

Eventually things have got back to normal and we are both already needing another holiday. The weather here, since my heroes return from captivity, has been magnificent so I removed the covers from the garden furniture and put up the sunshades up so we could spend a few more leisurely days pretending we were still on holiday. Is there a better way to spend a day than to recline in a garden full of colour and scent,  the sun shining, a glass of wine in one hand, a book in another and a bag of salt and vinegar crisps in another, wearing just my ‘flying doctors’ hat and nothing else. Oh yes ladies, such bliss. but do not worry I am not the male equivalent of Liz Hurley so there are no pictures. Was that a sigh of relief or disappointment?

During those few days of respite Pat has been writing what I thought was a book but has turned out to be a list of jobs that I am required to do in the future. The immediate future. No skiving.

First job, ‘power wash’ the patio and all paths at front, down the side and at the back of the house. The first problem is remembering how to set the machine up and how to stop the hosepipe from separating from the machine as soon as it’s turned on. Ten goes at this until I finally found the easy solution. Half a roll of Gorilla tape and twenty minutes is all that’s needed. The only instruction from Pat is “put your shorts on”. Spoilsport.

That job completed I now have to wash all the windows at ground floor level and, bearing in mind that we have a conservatory, that’s a lot of widows but the intrepid person that I am, I do not complain and just get on with it. It’s another job completed.

At long last I have some time to get back to the blog and resume my responsibilities to my loyal and loving followers. Please don’t think of me as being something of a Saint, it’s embarrassing,  I am just doing what every man reading this would do.