An Extraordinary Childhood

 You just never know when an extraordinary story is going to come along but this one was told to me after a chance meeting with a guy called Derek one evening in the restaurant at the Salobrena Hotel. Unusually for me I was a little late for dinner and hadn’t realised that a large contingent of Spanish people had arrived earlier in the evening and had gone straight into the restaurant. I was very lucky to find the last unoccupied table and had just sat down to my meal when this man I didn’t know asked if it was alright if he sat with me because all the other tables were taken. “Yes, of course. No problem” I replied. 

During the course of the meal we got chatting and we hit it off straight away and continued our chat after dinner over a beer or two. We covered all the usual topics: football, women, football, women, where we lived etc. until we got onto the subject of our youths. It was then he told me of his extraordinary childhood. This was his story.

His mum was Marjory and his dad was Colin and he was their third child. He had an older brother and an older sister and, although his parents weren’t rich, they managed to live reasonably well and Derek had fond memories of his early years. He was four years of age when his world fell apart when it emerged that his dad was a bigamist and his first marriage was to a man called Cecil but Colin and Cecil had never divorced. Colin’s defence was that he didn’t know that his  gay marriage counted but because of other financial indiscretions linked to that first marriage Colin was sent to prison. Marjory had not been aware that Colin and Cecil had adopted three children, all boys.

Marjory visited Colin quite regularly but unbeknown to her so did Cecil. The prison inmates were only allowed one visitor at a time and as Marjory and Cecil had never met neither realised that they were both visiting the same man. It was usual for them to go to the canteen after the visits for a cup of tea and eventually they got to recognise one other and started to spend the refreshment time together. This led to a romance and eventually Marjory and Cecil got married still completely unaware of the connection between them. Cecil had wrongly assumed that Colin’s imprisonment had nullified his marriage to Colin and so Cecil now also became a bigamist and because of benefits he had wrongly claimed he was also sent to prison. Six children were now fatherless but Marjory took the three adopted kids under her wing and looked after them all. Marjory was now a single woman with six children, all of similar age groups, and two ex-husbands to visit. Times were tough and money was scarce but somehow Marjory managed to scrape through.

The thing that Marjory missed most was having a partner, someone to talk to and help over the hurdles that life was putting in front of her. She and her children had come to the attention of Social Services who had appointed a lady to monitor them on a regular basis which she did vigorously. Caroline sympathised with Marjory because she was also bringing up two children on her own having become a widow two years previously but at least Caroline had the help of her parents who minded the children while she went to work. Over a period of time Caroline and Marjory became good friends, so much so, that Caroline started to visit outside of her work time and often brought her two children without her. Her children got on well with Marjory’s brood and the visits increased until it became an every day routine. One morning Marjory’s children noticed that Caroline and her children were already sitting at the kitchen table when they were getting up to have breakfast but did not realise that they had been there all night. Marjory and Caroline had become an item despite the opposition  of Caroline’s parents. Caroline was disowned and Caroline, having no one to look after her children while she went to work, moved in with Marjory. The family had now grown to two mothers and eight children.

Colin was the first of the bigamists to be released and his first stop, after a couple of pints in the nearest pub, was to visit Marjory in the hope of a roof over his head not being aware that Marjory was already in a relationship and had ‘tied the knot’ with Caroline of whom he was completely unaware of. There was ‘no room at the inn’ he was told but he argued that six of the children were his responsibility and as he had a job as a Janitor arranged by one of the prison charities he could provide funds that were sorely needed. After some discussion it was agreed he could stay for a limited time as a trial but within three months both Marjory and Caroline announced that they were pregnant. Colin’s place in the home was firmly cemented. Surprisingly the situation was accepted without rancour and the babies were born. The family had now become two mothers, one father and ten children. 

The family was now too big for the three bedroom house they were all living in and the local council agreed to move them into a premises that had originally been three houses but had been knocked into one large home. Caroline’s contacts and popularity at the Social Services department had gone a long way towards achieving this.

The family as a whole benefited from the move and it had become a close knit and very happy community but more upheaval was on its way. Cecil’s time in prison was up and, having received a letter from Colin whilst he was in prison giving him Colin’s new address, his first stop was there which was natural bearing in mind that Colin and Cecil were still married to each other.

Colin was pleased to see his partner but Marjory and Caroline were not so keen. Cecil begged them to allow him to stay at least until he got on his feet and, like Colin had done, he reminded them that he was still the legal father of three of the children and explained he would get a job quickly because he was a qualified electrician who were in great demand. Once again Marjory and Caroline relented and four years later both had had a further two children each but nobody seem to know whether it was Colin or Cecil or both who were responsible and nobody seemed to care. The family now consisted of two mothers, two fathers and fourteen children which was manageable financially because there were two wage earners and also benefits available.

“That is amazing’ I told Derek and then I asked him how he and his ‘brothers’ and ‘sisters’ had felt about their childhood and he told me that, although they knew their family was different from the families of their friends, it was all they knew and had never known any different. The other kids didn’t seem to mind probably because they weren’t old enough to have formed prejudices.

“Now, of course” he added “they had all grown into adults and most were either married or were in long-term relationships and the next generation were adding to the family every year”. I went on to ask him if the family were still close and he replied “more than ever and Christmas was the biggest event in all of their lives. How they all got into the house he didn’t know”. The Christmas festivities went on for days with the children playing games all day and the adults spending the evenings  recounting stories of their childhood together.  One story, he told me, that came up every year and nobody tired of hearing was, when the two oldest boys who were brothers but not brothers had grown out of their, what was loosely termed as their school uniform, and had to be re-kitted out and their current apparel handed down. There were no Grammar schools in their area but the school that they attended had pretensions to being a viable alternative and, as such, had introduced a uniform of sorts. The cheapest outlet was the Army and Navy stores but being mid term the choice was even more restricted than usual so when George and Graham proudly marched into school the following Monday morning George was dressed as a Japanese Admiral and Graham was dressed as a German U-boat Commander and were oblivious to the titters of merriment from the other pupils. Of course the Head of the school had to step in and arrangements were made for something more acceptable. Derek willingly acknowledged that over the years the story had got amended and exaggerated slightly but nobody cared because they had learned to laugh at themselves.

The bar had closed and we finished our drinks and went our separate ways to our rooms. The next morning I looked out for Derek but he was nowhere to be seen so I enquired after him at Reception only to be told that Derek’s stay with the hotel was over and he had checked out early that morning. We hadn’t exchanged telephone numbers or e-mail addresses so my association with Derek was restricted to that one evening. I really hope I bump into him again while on my travels but what are the odds of that happening?

His story only goes to show how unbelievable and weird life can be from time to time. Who knows what lies around the corner?