Hotel Salobrena Suites - Early Verdict - Terry

I have been staying here now for 4 days and I have formed my opinion of the hotel already. Shall we start with the pluses.

If you want peace and quiet and a hotel that is very remote, then this is the perfect location. To be fair this does not cut you off from the area around the hotel because they run a free shuttle that will take you, on specific days, to a few of the closest towns including Salobrena and Almunecar both of which I visited. The hotel is nicely laid out and has a big pool and plenty of sun beds and shades. The food is of very good quality but …. (see minuses). My balcony has a full sea-view, catches the sun perfectly and I can sit out on it until 11p.m. (Spanish time) very comfortably.

The minuses

Oh boy, this is going to take some time. 

Most of the staff, including the maintenance man, speak little or no English so it becomes a game of Charades when needing to convey any message.

Whilst the food is high quality the choice is dreadfully restricted and there is a lot of repetition day after day. There is only one buffet food island which gives you some idea of the restricted choice and, at busy times, this causes a lot of human congestion.

The plates available when eating/drinking soup are the same as used for the main meal and this also applies to cereals. There are no bowls available for these dishes. How can you eat these on a plate? Although spoons are available I would not be surprised if the guest was expected to use a knife and fork instead. Crazy.

The buffet island is covered by a glass dome on which is written, in felt-tip pen, a description of the food below but, because of the height of the canopy and also the light, these descriptions cannot be read. What bright spark thought that one up. Crazy.

Because of under-staffing the bar at meal times is not manned all the time, only when a member of the restaurant staff becomes available. Very frustrating and Crazy.

The WiFi connection is very poor throughout the hotel even in the public spaces and constantly cuts out and I cannot get a connection at all on my balcony so I have to make do with reading rather than listen to music on Spotify through my headphones or doing some personal work on the IPad. FaceTiming family and friends would be a complete hit or miss affair. It is remote enough here without being cut off from the rest of the world.

Entertainment is sparse and is limited to two D.J. nights and Flamenco. Even the Spanish are not interested in Flamenco and I don’t blame them.

The hotel is over-run with the Spanish and their children at the weekends and pandemonium breaks out in the restaurant at meal time. Outside of meal times the pool is filled to the brim with human bodies. Not a relaxing way to spend a weekend.

I have seen several hotel guests walking dogs which appears to mean the hotel is dog friendly which in some peoples opinion should put it in the plus column but I think they should only be allowed if they have been de-barked and de-pooed first.

When endeavouring to have my first shower it took me some time to find a water temperature somewhere between ‘glacier’ and ‘third degree burns’ because it appeared to have been fine-tuned by the Mercedes F1 team. Even worse was that when I stepped out of the shower the whole of the bathroom floor, right up to the bathroom door, was covered in water. It seemed that the drain was not taking in the water fast enough and it was backing up and flowing out of the shower entrance because there is no lip to prevent it. It took over 4 hours to dry out and meant that when I went for a pee during the night I had to do the breaststroke to get to the toilet. This was reported to reception at 8a.m. but it was only after two trips back to reception that a maintenance man became available at 2p,m. He tested the drain and found no problem so he shrugged his shoulders and left. I tested the shower after he left using the overhead function, not the handheld function, and found that half the water was spraying upwards onto the ceiling and over the glass partition. I got him back immediately and demonstrated where the problem was coming from because he wasn’t very good at Charades but I declined to strip off to make my point. A replacement fitting was found and job done within 15 minutes. Hotel guest wins in extra time.

The hotel have decided to turn off the water all day next Monday to all the rooms until 7p.m. in the evening. No reason has been given so I suspect that the tank in the loft has run out or that it’s one way of preventing my shower from overflowing. If so, somewhat overkill methinks.

Surprisingly enough I have got myself into a routine and am keeping myself to myself and enjoying the rest and relaxation mostly on my balcony. After all, a more laid back guy you couldn’t wish to meet. Am I right? Hm, not the reaction I expected.

The fine weather has helped and, as they say, ‘the sun shines on the righteous’ which describes me perfectly don’t you think? Hm, again, not quite the response I expected.

Would I return to this hotel sometime in the future? I don’t think so.

Should I need to expand on the above at a later date I will do so, until then goodbye the outside world except for the blog.