Black Holes

 28th January

There are Black Holes and there are Black Holes. The Black Holes that we hear about most often are those in Outer Space. I confess that I do not understand the effect of these Black Holes or why they are important to us or why we need to understand how and why they formed. I leave that to the scientists and astronomers.

The Black Holes that I am interested in are those that exist in many, most or all of the homes in the U.K. and possibly throughout the world. You’re not aware of any in your home? Do you recognise any of the following?

I have scoured the manual relating to my washing machine and can find no mention of a compartment within the washing machine that could house some of my socks. Therefore if there is no compartment then the there must be a Black Hole and not just an ordinary Black Hole but one that is selective in it’s victims. Never does a pair of socks go missing, always just the one. I keep the one that has not succumbed to the Black Hole in the hope that the prisoner sock will be returned at some point but they never are. I have a drawer full of unpaired socks some of which probably go back to my youth. My only hope is that some enterprising entrepreneur will start a business selling single socks or perhaps I could take them to the Repair Shop so they can replicate the missing sock and thereby reduce the number of dog eared, moth eaten Teddy Bears repaired to considerably below the current figure of (I’m now guessing) 3000.

Then there is the distorted Black Hole. This is disguised as a bureau and it is our bureau that appears to have been behind the idea that the writers of Dr.Who came up with and called the Tardís. Obviously they used a telephone box so as not to confuse it with our bureau. This works differently to the one in the washing machine in that the inside is about 100 times the size of the outside and consumes everything that gets close to it like a magnet. It works on the basis of quantity. If it consumes enough paper and other miscellaneous objects then we can never find anything and retains items that go back many years and are  now long forgotten.

The bread box is another Black Hole that contains everything that we can’t find, excluding socks. It has never contained bread but if we need something that we cannot find or need something we have never had it will be in the bread bin. Want a V8 engine for a Ford Cortina? It’s likely to be in the bread bin along with used up batteries and other objects we do not recognize and did not know we had.

I’m sure that we also have secret Black Holes that we have not identified and this is probably why I can’t find the newspaper clipping I referred to in my previous post ‘Unsung Heroes’.

Warning!! Be on the lookout in case the Black Holes rise up and we are, one day, overrun by single socks who will take over the world.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Housebound

  14th January It has been too cold for me to venture outdoors for the past few days so we have done a bit of housework to keep the home in good order and Pat had a short time available to start on her picture. I thought this was a good time to share one of my very simple recipes with you, ideal  for a light lunch or a starter for a main  meal . Prawn and Rice for two Ingredients: Half a cup of White Long Grain Rice. 22 medium sized ready cooked Prawns 12 Baby Tomatoes Marie Rose sauce Lettuce (optional) Cucumber (optional) Preparation: Three quarter fill a medium sized saucepan with water and bring to the boil. Add the Rice and leave to simmer for 15 minutes until the majority of  the water has evaporated While the Rice cooks place 11 Prawns on the centre of each plate. Coat the Prawns liberally with the Marie Rose sauce. When the Rice is ready tip it into a sieve to drain any surplus water and then spoon it in a circle around the Prawns Halve the tomatoes and place...
Read more

A Boys Day Out

  Wednesday 15th January Alan is the husband of Lynda Lynda is the cousin of Pat Terry (that’s me) is the husband of Pat Tenuous as it may seem that must mean that Alan and I are linked as family members. Is there a term for that relationship? Maybe ‘ husbands of cousins in law? Probably not but the term particular to us is definitely GREAT MATES. We have a day out together 3/4 times a year when we meet up either in Basildon or Upminster and have a couple of drinks, a meal and a long chat about anything and everything that is relevant at the time. It’s a nice relaxing day and I always look forward to it. Alan is my type of guy, he has strong and good principles and sticks to them and expects the people around him to adhere to his own high standards. Despite the fact that he is in his late 70’s he is still a good looking guy but there is one thing about him that aggravates me and that is, whether he is booted and suited or dressed casually, he always looks smart. We’ve had Punk, Got...
Read more

Hotel Alua - Holiday Verdict

  30th April It’s doesn’t matter how much money you pay there really is no such holiday which is all things to all people. We are all individuals and ‘one persons meat is another persons poison’. It’s not about right and wrong but about preferences. For instance, lively evening entertainment is what many like in a hotel so they can get up and dance and let their hair down but others may prefer to sit and talk and their ears are offended by too much noise. Bearing this in mind the following are my opinions as to the rating I would give to the holiday and hotel that I have just experienced based upon my own personal preferences. The Alua is a Hyatt hotel and is set in a purpose built small town. It is remote and there are only a couple of supermarkets and restaurants you can walk to. It is ideal for Walkers and Twitchers but the nearest town, Mahon, is only a bus ride, hotel shuttle or cab ride away. The hotel itself is spacious and the rooms well appointed although, like so many oth...
Read more